Big Girls (and Boys) Don't Cry...

There were 6 contestants left on The Next Food Network Star last night. They were taken to Fort Dix to take the M.R.E.'s (Meal Ready to Eat) for the Marines. Paul pulled himself back from previous weeks to win the challenge, but it proved to be too much for JAG who had memories from his time in the Marine Corp. The smell of the chemicals used to clean their weapons brought it all back for him and he just didn't come through with his cooking. That and maybe being a little too over-confident.

The next challenge was to create a meal for the Marines that would make them think of home. They were divided into teams of 2 and Paul (being the winner of the challenge) picked his partner, the other teams and what they would make. Paul and JAG got the meatloaf, Amy and Rory got the lasagna, and Adrien and Michael got the Chicken Pot Pie. They were given 2 hours to prepare and cook their meals. How they could expect a chicken pot pie to be created in 2 hours for all those Marines is just beyond me! JAG and Paul's luck almost ran out on them in the kitchen when their ovens weren't working. JAG came to the rescue and deep-fried the meatloaf. Thinking it wasn't going to work Paul just went along with it because they had no other choice. Everybody LOVED the meatloaf and JAG and Paul won the challenge. The least favorable dish overall was the lasagna because it just lacked oomph. However, Rory and Amy's presentation to the Marines kept them alive.

At one point during the evaluations Amy started to cry because she been trying to find the line between private and public and she realized that there isn't one. Giada DeLaurentis (guest judge for this week) just nodded her head in agreement that your life is just an open book when you are a Food Network Star Then Rory started crying and then Michael started crying. Ok, ok, so JAG cried when the judges were talking to him, but he had a legitimate reason with being at Fort Dix and the memories of his time when he was enlisted coming back to him. The other 3 were just being cry babies. You don't sign up for a show that is going to be on national television and not expect to have everything out in the open. There is no privacy anymore. Which is why I don't do reality TV shows is because I don't want to put myself out there for everyone. As much as I want to be on Survivor or other reality shows, I know I can't do it. So wipe those tears and either go home or get on with it and try to be the Next Food Network Star!

Pack your knives and GO!

Season 3 of Top Chef kicked off last night and boy was it a doozy. The cheftestants were treated to a nice lunch, but then were immediately thrown into a quickfire challenge. The challenge required them to create an amuse bouche out of the leftovers from lunch. Only through watching the first two seasons have I come to understand what this means. It seems that at least one of the contestants (Clay) was one of those people who did not know what it was either. He created a large granny apple with fruit inside. Now while that may have tasted good, it was not what the challenge was all about. So he was at the bottom when it came to judging the quickfire challenge.

Clay then needed to redeem himself in the elimination challenge. That challenge was a protein challenge, or as Chef Tom Colicchio explained, it was a Surf and Turf. This was going to be different because they had more exotic ingredients like Eel, Snake, Black Chicken, Geoduck, alligator, sea urchin and more. Clay served up Pan Seared Wild Boar Chop and Cornbread Dressing with Scorpion Fish. Just the name makes me NOT want to eat it. The judges ripped his meal to shreds and said that it was the least desirable dish there. They also ripped apart Howie because he didn't get his frog legs on the plate before the timer ran out. Therefore, he only served half his dish. However, it turns out that the judges loved what he did get on the plate, and wish they had the chance to try his frog legs. He even "talked back" to Anthony Bourdain when he asked Howie,"What is your major malfunction?". Howie fired back with a quote from one of Anthony's books and Anthony called him a Son of a Bitch. I don't think he was being mean because he actually looked like he was smiling. This move was probably what saved him in Anthony's eyes.

Clay was finally told to "Pack your knives and go". I am a little sad to see Clay go, but of the other cheftestants I didn't see anyone else that should go. Of course I would not have eaten ANY of those dishes due to the "exotic proteins" provided, but the judges seemed to enjoy most of them. I can't imagine how they can do the judging and just not get fat from everything they eat. I look at it and gain 5 pounds! LOL

Mutiny!

NOT! Once again on Pirate Master, the crew DID NOT MUTINY. Let me say that again...they did NOT mutiny. You see all these crew members talking about how the captain must go, you have Christian pleading his case against J.D. as the captain, yet not one single person has the balls to get up there and mutiny. Do they really want J.D. to keep getting most of the money and food? Are they just going to sit there and complain but then when they have the power do absolutely nothing about it? It appears that way. And it makes me smack my head in disbelief.

While I was watching the teams compete for the next treasure I started wondering if any of them is smart enough to think "Hey, let's lose this one so that a new captain can be nominated". Of course later on it became apparent that NONE of them is smart at all. I also don't really see them being able to agree on the next capatin. There is a lot of action we don't see, but from what we do see, it is obvious that they are not a happy crew, but they still keep the same captain. The captain that is making them miserable and keeping them from getting money and possibly making it to the end.

I really didn't want to see Christian go, but in the two weeks that Pirate Master has been on, they are getting rid of the strong players... all except for the captain. Soon they won't have any strong players to go into the snake infested pit, climb the trees, tear down the sabotages, or pull the heavy treasure box from its secret hiding place. Louie talks a good game, but after his first black spot he is not going to do anything to create waves or make the capatin give him another black spot.

I'm just so perplexed by the voting on this show so far that there really isn't much more to say except that they are all stupid and scared, for whatever reason.

If You Can't Take The Heat

Stay out of the kitchen...Hell's Kitchen, that is. Or Chef Gordon Ramsay might just throw you out because you can't stop crying.

Ok, so we have a new set of contestants : 6 women, 6 men ... or is that 5 men and whimpering idiot? Aaron totally lost it right before the grand re-opening last night. He is a 48 year-old chef at a retirement home, and he couldn't hold it together after dinner prep. Chef Ramsay called the teams together (divided into the men in the blue kitchen and the women in the red kitchen) for a pep talk and Aaron started crying like a baby. And he couldn't stop! No matter how long and loud Ramsay yelled at him, he was crying! I understand that the experience is probably more intense than they show through the editing but you don't audition for it if you don't think you are going to even make it to the first dinner service!

The women were just unbelievable in the kitchen. They were [appropriately] named HELL'S BITCHES by Ramsey, and didn't stop bickering the entire time. I wanted to reach through the TV and slap some of them for treating Julia the way they did. Not only did they NOT talk to her during dinner prep, but Tiffany, Melissa, and Bonnie had the audacity to comment that Julia didn't deserve to be there because she works at Waffle House. So tell me Tiffany, how do you cook a quail egg without making it seem like a silicone implant. According to Chef Ramsey that's exactly what he thought of Tiffany's fried quail eggs. No matter how much Julia offered to help with the eggs, she wasn't allowed. Bonnie had her turn and kept breaking the yokes. So no appetizers were going out and the red kitchen came to a screeching halt because they wouldn't let Julia fry the eggs.

The blue kitchen seemed to be getting the appetizers out once Vinnie was taken off the station and Josh was put there. Vinnie was moved to washing the pots and pans, and Chef Ramsay noted that he had found his calling. LOL At one point Aaron found that his large 48 year-old body couldn't take the heat and he had to leave the kitchen. But not before he ruined the rest of the chicken. Apparently they also ran out of the other meats, and chicken and vegetable stock , which caused the very hot and sexy Sous Chef Scott to howl "We haven't served any food, how can we be out of everything?", or something to that affect. I was on the floor laughing so hard throughout this episode, but it really is sad how poorly these teams performed on their first night.

Aaron was so lucky that Hell's Bitches did so much worse at preparing food and was the losing team, so he is safe for now. Vinnie also squeaked by after talking back to Ramsay right before he announced the losing team. I guess Vinnie doesn't want to win his own restaurant. Gordon Ramsay doesn't like a smart ass and he doesn't forget either. Melissa was quite cunning when she told Tiffany that she wasn't going home. - "No Way" was her comment, but then she turned around and nominated her for elimination. Chef Ramsay agreed with her and took her chef's coat. One down and 11 more to go.

Are you The Next...

...Food Network Star? Last night was the two-hour premiere and you know I just could not pull myself away. I even put it on my Yahoo! calendar so I wouldn't miss it. I love to watch the cooking shows even though I can't eat most of what they make. It's fun to watch their minds working and to see if they are going to work well together when they are put into teams.

I have to say that last night was the most entertaining cooking competition I have seen so far. First of all, to see the Food Network Stars being judges and hosts was just awesome. Iron Chef Bobby Flay was the guest host this week, and Duff from Ace of Cakes and Robert Irvine from Dinner Impossible were guests during the last two challenges. I love both those shows so seeing them was just awesome, as was their commentary on the contestants during the competition.

Duff was there for the wedding cake challenge which is a challenge that isn't fair for most of them. Trying to make a wedding cake is a huge undertaking, but a few of them came out on top. I loved Paul's cake with the two grooms on top which represented his own wedding cake if he ever has one. I cannot understand how Vivien and Rory totally missed the boat that it was supposed to be a wedding cake. Duff even said that he would love to bite into the cakes at the parties where they are being served, but not at a wedding. Robert Irvine then showed up to explain the next challenge...cater a wedding for 100 people in 6 hours!! The teams got $1,800 to cater the wedding. One team (the orange team) got a bonus of $500. And how much of that money was spent? Well, the orange team spent just under $800 because Colombe was so worried about how much everything costs that they didn't spend all of the money OR buy enough food. That became obvious when there was no food on the orange team table multiple times during the wedding reception. And at one point there were no orange team members there to serve, so Bobby Flay went over and worked the table with whatever food was left! The green team spent $1,150 of the $1,800 and definitely had enough food. Needless to say the green team won the challenge, but not everyone on the green team was safe.

Two people were sent home last night, so we are down to 9 contestants. I don't agree with Patrick being sent home, but I did agree with sending Vivien home. Part of the reason they chose Patrick is because they need someone with personality who can capture the audience and keep them interested. Unlike other cooking competitions, this person needs to be in front of the camera and keep people tuning in to their show. For now I am hoping that at least JAG, Paul, and Amy make it to the finals. I like Colombe for her organic cooking and think it would be a good show. I just hope she can develop her personality.

Set Adrift

The premier of Pirate Master on CBS last night was just awesome. At first it seemed a little boring and a lot like Survivor, but the rules are definitely different. That became apparent when half the gold was given to the elected captain and then half of the rest was given to the two officers, leaving only a measly $2000 for the rest of the Black Crew that found the treasure. The rules are definitely different here and I couldn't wait to see how someone would be voted off.

So J.D. (a.k.a. Joe Don) was voted Captain almost unanimously. I agreed with John when he didn't agree that J.D. should be captain. Of course that came back to bite him in the ass later. BTW, I was shocked to see that John was a Scientist and Exotic Dancer. I could believe the Exotic Dancer part with that super hot body and long luscious black hair that any woman would love to run their fingers through as he dances in his little black thong. But as far as being a scientist...well he showed he has brains as well as brawn, and he DID win the challenge and find the treasure when nobody else could.

Being Captain IMMEDIATELY went to J.D.'s head and you could see that his demeanor changed and he turned into a hard ass. You can see that some of the players are already wishing he wasn't captain and probably some that voted for him are feeling it too. The captain was given letters for each of his crew, and three of them had a black mark. The crew member that received a black mark was "marked" and the possibility of being set adrift was placed on them. Louie, Joy, and Johnwere marked. John was of course the obvious choice because he didn't vote for J.D. and was not considered a team player.

At the Pirate Court each crew member was given a chance to state their case for staying. John was the only one who mentioned Mutiny and gave the reason that he had both compasses and if he leaves, the compasses go with him. The Captain (J.D.) told how he could find the north star at night and in the daytime use a stick in the sand and the shadow it casts to find north, south, east and west. John then challenged him to find north right then and there but couldn't because it was raining and you couldn't see any stars. That right there should have told all those that were voting that John is more valuable than they are believing. But alas, when it came down to the vote, nobody wanted to Mutiny, and each vote was for John.

Now I just get nuts because of the way the vote went. They were all pissing and moaning about J.D., and when they are given the chance to mutiny, they don't do it!!! Are they f'in crazy? They are going to be regretting that decision and based on the previews from next week where J.D. doesn't let anybody have any food and he is working them to the bone, they will know for sure they made a bad decision.

I am glad Pirate Master is different from survivor and I can't wait to see what twists and turns they put in this game. However, the eye candy (John) has been set adrift. I must press on with only the game to entertain me now.